Wedding officiant and premarital mentoring packages in Temecula, San Diego, and Orange County
Before the vows and on your wedding day
Wedding ceremonies and premarital mentoring for interracial, LGBTQ+, and multicultural couples.
See the packagesWhen you're marrying across difference
You and your partner come from different places. It might be race, culture, faith, who you love, or a few of these at once. Your families each bring their own history to this wedding, and the world around you doesn't always make room for a love like yours.
Some of that shows up while you're planning. Your grandmother wants part of the ceremony in Spanish, and your partner's family doesn't speak a word of it. One parent is already planning their outfit, and another still hasn't said whether they're coming. Those things can be worked through with care. The bigger conversations take longer, like how you'll raise your kids, or what happens the first time a relative says something hurtful at the holiday table. Left alone, those are the ones that can open a divide between two people who love each other.
That's why it matters who's standing with you. You want someone who understands these differences from the inside, because they've lived them, and who can help you build a ceremony and a marriage with room for both of your families.
What happens in the months before the wedding
A love like yours often takes careful navigation, with your families and with each other. We believe you start your marriage in a better place when you go into it prepared, and when the two of you are on solid ground about where you're headed. So that's where most of our work happens.
You may not want a traditional ceremony, and you don't need one. Jill works with you to build a ceremony that honors what the two of you actually want, while staying sensitive to the family members who'll be sitting in those chairs.
Lori goes deeper, into the relationship itself. She helps you get on the same page about the differences that will come up long after the wedding, before they come up. When you already know how you'll handle the hard decisions together, you can walk into your marriage with a lot more confidence.
Below are three ways to work with us.
Our packages
We Marry You
$950
For couples who want a ceremony that sounds like them, and that both families can feel part of.
- A ceremony written from your story, with both families in mind
- Help writing your vows
- Your rehearsal and wedding day, with both of us there
- License filing, a keepsake copy, and a first-anniversary note
We Prepare You, Then We Marry You
$1,550
For couples who want to prepare for the marriage itself, then have us marry them.
- Everything in We Marry You
- The 12 Conversations
- Four 60-minute mentoring sessions with Lori
- One team with you from your first conversation to your wedding day
We Prepare You
$700
For couples whose ceremony is already covered, maybe by a friend or a family faith leader, who still want to prepare for the marriage.
- The 12 Conversations
- Four 60-minute mentoring sessions with Lori
- Every session online, so you can join from anywhere
- Extra sessions available at $175 each
What goes into every ceremony
Included in We Marry You and We Prepare You, Then We Marry You.
- A first call with both of us to talk through your vision and make sure we're a good fit
- A working session for the harder decisions, like how to honor both families' traditions
- Two short reflection prompts before Jill starts writing
- Help writing your vows, with prompts, a simple structure, and examples to work from
- A ceremony script written from your story
- A final review session, plus one round of written revisions
- Your rehearsal
- Officiating on your wedding day
- Your marriage license, filed for you
- A keepsake copy of your ceremony
- A note on your first anniversary, with your vows inside
No travel fee anywhere in Riverside, San Diego, or Orange County. Planning a destination wedding, or getting married farther out? See where we travel below.
Tell us about your weddingExtra mentoring sessions are $175 each in either mentoring package. Premarital mentoring is educational and reflective. It isn't therapy, and it isn't a replacement for a licensed counselor.
How the 12 Conversations work
Here's what our premarital mentoring looks like.
Step 1 Before you meet
Each of you works through twelve areas of married life on your own. Some will feel easy. At least one probably won't.
Step 2 Session one
Lori walks the two of you through where your answers line up and where they don't. Together, you decide where to focus.
Step 3 Sessions two and three
These sessions go where you need them most. If you agree about kids but not money, you spend your time on money.
Step 4 Session four
Your last session ties it all back to your marriage, so you leave knowing how you'll handle the hard decisions ahead.
My wife and I were feeling so overwhelmed with wedding planning and new life changes. Jill and Lori's guidance and level of care immediately put us at ease and let us start enjoying the planning. They coached us through the stressful moments and were always a listening ear for all our ideas and questions leading up to the wedding day. The ceremony they put together was even better than we could have imagined.
Lauren & Sage Castleberry
Where we travel for weddings
We're based in Temecula and happy to come to you.
Southern California
No travel fee in Riverside County (including Temecula), San Diego County, and Orange County. A $175 travel fee applies for Palm Springs, the Coachella Valley, and Los Angeles County.
Northern California
We're up there often, since we have family and friends there too. If that's where your people are, we'd love to come. Reach out and we'll send you a quote.
Destination weddings
Getting married somewhere far from home? We'd love to be there. Your package price stays the same, and we'll quote travel costs like flights and lodging separately.
Premarital mentoring happens online, so We Prepare You works from anywhere.
Questions couples ask us
Is premarital mentoring the same as premarital counseling?
They're close, and a lot of couples search for one when they mean the other. Premarital counseling is usually led by a licensed therapist. Our mentoring is led by Lori, a certified coach, and grounded in what she and Jill have learned building a marriage across difference. It's guided, educational and reflective, and it isn't therapy. If something comes up that calls for a licensed counselor, Lori will tell you and help you think through next steps.
Do we have to do premarital mentoring to book you for our ceremony?
No. We Marry You is our ceremony-only package, and it includes everything that goes into writing and officiating your ceremony.
Can we do premarital mentoring if someone else is officiating?
Yes. We Prepare You is built for exactly that. Maybe a close friend is getting ordained for your wedding, or a family faith leader is marrying you. You can still do the 12 Conversations and all four sessions with Lori, online from wherever you live.
Do you officiate LGBTQ+, interracial, and interfaith weddings?
Yes, and those couples are exactly who we built Jillori for. We've built our own marriage across race, culture, and gender, so we know what it takes.
Can our ceremony be non-religious, or include both of our backgrounds?
Yes. Jill writes every ceremony from scratch around what the two of you want. It can be fully secular, include traditions from both families, or land somewhere in between.
Do you officiate destination weddings?
Yes. Your package price stays the same wherever you're getting married, and we'll quote travel costs like flights and lodging separately. We're also in Northern California often, if that's where your people are.
How far in advance should we book?
As soon as you have a date, reach out so we can check our availability. For your ceremony, we need at least six weeks to get to know you and write it. If you're adding premarital mentoring, plan to start at least three months before the wedding, so your sessions wrap up before the final stretch.
How do we hold our date?
A $250 deposit holds your date. For We Marry You, the remaining $700 is due two weeks before the wedding. For We Prepare You, Then We Marry You, $600 is due before your first mentoring session, and the remaining $700 two weeks before the wedding. We Prepare You is paid in full when you book. If a payment plan would help, talk to us. We're happy to work something out.
What if we need to reschedule or cancel?
If you need to move your date, your deposit moves with you, as long as we're available on the new one. If we're not, or you need to cancel, the deposit isn't refundable, since it held a date we turned other couples away from. Once your final balance is paid, it isn't refundable either, because your ceremony is written by then. Any mentoring sessions you haven't used stay yours for a year from your original wedding date. If we ever have to cancel because of an emergency, you'll get a full refund, deposit included, and we'll help you find another officiant.
What if we don't finish our mentoring sessions before the wedding?
You can use them after. Any sessions left over are yours to use within your first year of marriage, when a lot of couples find the conversations get real.
Is what we share in mentoring kept private?
What you share stays with us. With your permission, Lori may pass along things that give Jill helpful context for your ceremony. Nothing becomes public unless you want it to be part of your story or your ceremony.
Do you file our marriage license?
Yes. Once you're married, we sign your California marriage license and file it with the county for you.
Start with a conversation
However you're getting married, and wherever your families are starting from, we'd love to hear from you. Send us your date and a little about the two of you. We'll check our calendar and set up a first call, so you can see whether we're the right people to stand beside you.
Tell us about your wedding